An Open Letter To Everyone Who Wanted Me To Write An Open Letter About Trayvon Martin

(and were ticked off/disappointed/confused by my apathy statement earlier.)

You wanted a rant — here ya go. First a caveat: The words “you” and “yours” are collective. I’m talking to everyone. If it doesn’t apply to you, then you’ve got no reason to be offended. If it does, well…

So, earlier today, I posted that I was…oh let me just pull the quote:

You know, over the last few days, I’ve seen some pretty stupid news items come through my Facebook feed. A 17 year-old boy armed with iced tea and Skittles being shot dead by a nutcase with a cop complex. A lame bumper sticker. Anything from Fox News. Several good candidates for YMBOC.

Now, I remember a time, not so long ago, when any one of these would have elicited a full-blown rant from me.  At one time, I could have written thousands of words on any of the above-mentioned topics.

And yet…

Yeah, I got nothin’.

It’s official folks: I am completely apathetic.

Some of you seemed to take offense to that statement, even though I went on to say:

Now, don’t confuse my apathy for lack of caring or concern. I do care, and I am concerned. However, railing about it just isn’t in me right now. It’s as if I’m in observation mode — just taking it all in, making notes as things unfold.

And observe I have. But I don’t think I’m seeing the same things you are.

Some of you seem to think I should be more outraged than everyone else about this because I’m black.

What the hell does that have to do with anything?Is there some special dispensation code I should be using to show the proper amount of outrage over an unarmed kid being shot to death by a racist prick?

Is it not enough for me to be outraged because I’m a mother?

How about the fact that I’m a human being?

But because I’m black, I’m supposed to automatically be especially outraged over this tragic event.

Bite me.

I Am outraged. It sickens me that in 2012, people are still killing people based on stereotypes, hate, skin color and ignorance. I’m sick and tired of always worrying that when my kids walk out that door, there’s a chance they might not come back.

But you know what I’m really sick of? As aggravating, frustrating, pathetic and sad as the Trayvon Martin situation is, it’s not the first. Today, it’s Trayvon Martin. Yesterday it was Troy Davis. Before that, it was Sean Bell. Before that, Emmett Till.

Don’t know who these people are?

Google is your friend.

And the real bitch of it is…

There will be another one tomorrow, and next week, and next month and next year.

Because you see, so long as people still see black males as “thugs in hoodies” and refer to them as “f****in coons,” it’s going to keep happening. Again and again and again.

And damn if I know how to stop it.

So, you’ll excuse me if once in a while I defer the need to express outrage to others who are just as capable of railing, ranting and raving as I am. Sometimes I just need to back off and be a part of the choir.

 

An Open Letter to Liz Trotta

By now, I’m sure you’ve seen this, but just in case, check out the link and watch the video:

Raped Too Much

Go catch up if you need to. I’ll wait…

<insert Jeopardy theme here>

Caught up? Good. Below is my open letter to Ms. Trotta.

Dear Ms. Trotta:

A friend brought your statements on Fox News to my attention. I have to say, your statements triggered a strong response, and I’d just like to share some of my thoughts with you.

Shame on you, you condescending, self-absorbed, ignorant and overall poor excuse for a human being.

I have been trying trying to figure out what you were really saying. I didn’t want to allow myself to believe that you actually, actually believe that women in the military should expect to be raped. I was trying, (trying!) to rationalize your statement of “raped too much”. I mean, surely you meant that it shouldn’t be happening at all, not that there is an acceptable level that must be allowed because, and forgive me for putting words in your mouth, “boys will be boys” or “men just can control themselves when they are in close contact.”

Oh wait, that last part, “in close contact”, you actually did say.

I’ve spent the better part of my day trying to believe you were not placing the blame of rape on the victims instead of where is actually belongs — on the individuals who are so lacking in respect and love for their fellow human beings, they choose to bolster their self-respect and exercise their power by inflicting pain on someone else in the most disgusting and heinous way imaginable.

But I’m not that naive, and as much as I wish I could be, I’m forced to face this fact: you are a sub-par human being. How dare you state that women who choose to serve their country should do so with the acknowledgement that their male counterparts might rape them. How dare you make rape a “work hazard.” And how dare you cast such a disgusting pallor on the decent and good and kind members of our military.

I’m sick and tired of people treating rape as if it’s just a plot point in a bad romance novel. I’m sick of people assuming she “asked for it” because, obviously, she was someplace she shouldn’t have been, wearing something she shouldn’t have been wearing or trusted the wrong people. Because all of the excuses, rationalization and explanations does not negate this: a rapist rapes because he wants to and the action falls on his shoulders.

I am going to assume that you or a loved one has never been through the experience. You are fortunate. Many of us, however are not, and your words are a slap in the face to the victims and their loved ones who have had to endure the act and live with the aftermath.

So, again, Ms. Trotta, shame on you. Shame for taking the blame from where it should be. Shame on you for selling out your fellow women. And shame on you for using your position to share your obviously skewered, twisted and pathetic understanding of what rape actually is with the world. I can only hope that others are as outraged as I am and take action to make sure you are yanked from your bully pulpit and never have an opportunity to spew forth your nonsense ever again.

They say that women are the “weaker” sex. Personally, I think anyone who has to rape to feel powerful is weaker than any woman could try to be.

However, Ms. Trotta, you are the exception. You are as weak as they come.

Signed

One Fed Up Woman