This Ain’t a Date — Pay Me!

Do I have you attention?

Good. 🙂

So, I got an email from one of my clients, one of the few content mills I still write for occasionally. They are revamping their site, and part of the overhaul includes writers updating their profiles. Okay, I can understand needing me to re-size a picture and explain my writing background. So, last week, I did that.

Today I get a followup email. They want me to “flesh out” my profile “so they can better match me to clients.” Oh, and they want sample articles for each area in which I write.

Um…I have three major areas of expertise, and  countless other areas where I can write with some level of authority (I think I counted 20 or so areas on their site). And you want me to complete a mini-profile for each other them.

Guys…it’s so Not Happening.

I’m not sure when this happened, but suddenly, sites want to know everything about you. I’m not willing to do that. This ain’t a dating site. I’m not trying to woo you, and I don’t want you to woo me, past giving me gigs and paying me. That’s really the extent of our relationship.

Want to know what you need to know about me? Here ya go:

My Name

My Resume

A couple of writing samples.

My PayPal email address so you can pay me.

This is what I need to know about you:

Do you pay?

How do you pay?

Do you pay on time?

Do you have work?

That’s it. This could be one of the least-complicated relationships either of us has ever had, and you want to go and ruin it by getting to know me. I’m afraid that if you insist on taking our relationship to the next level, I might have to rethink it.

I know you’re disappointed. But, it’s not you, it’s me.

Okay, it really is you.


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4 thoughts on “This Ain’t a Date — Pay Me!

  1. Barbara says:

    Bahahahahahaha! Classic!

  2. Chris says:

    I got the same problems when I do translation jobs! It really yanks my chain!

  3. tlms337 says:

    I just found your blog and though I write a blog, I’m not a “writer” like you. You’re feistiness and style just made a hilarious end to a very long day. I need to express more of that in my own writing. Blogs are best when they have a lot of personality and I think I may be playing it too timid. Reading yours, I felt lilke I was hanging out with a friend. I will definitely be back for more, especially when I need to hear someone else vent to distract me from my own BS.

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