It Ain’t Just Semantics, Folks.


I just had one of the most aggravating/amusing “discussions” of my writing career.

Remember the client I fired a few weeks back? Well, I still had some outstanding articles that hadn’t been approved, so I’ve still had to deal with them to a degree.

Today, the last of the articles I wrote went through — for the exception of one. It was returned for an edit with a note:

“Replace all instances of “Republic” with “Democracy”. This is not China. It’s the US.

Ooooookay….

Now, I could have just made the changes, sent the article back and been done with this client once and for all. That would have been the simple thing to do. The practical thing to do.

I can hear you all laughing now. Yes, but it wouldn’t have been the ME thing to do.

So, I shot back a reply:

Yeah, sorry, but I can’t make those changes. You see, although I am well aware this is not China, that does not change the fact that the United States is not a democracy, but is indeed, a republic. You see, in a democratic society, when you vote, the majority rules. In a republic, a democratic process is used to elect officials to represent everyone.

Does this sound vaguely familiar to you?

So, no, again, I won’t be making those changes. Do with the article what you will.

I figured that would be the end of it. They’d reject the article, I wouldn’t get paid for it, la la la la life goes on.

10 minutes later….I get this reply:

“WE ARE A DEMOCRACY. And I find it extremely UNAMERICAN of you to argue otherwise. You should be ashamed to call yourself an American. We’re rejecting your article, and you will no longer receive any work from us. We prefer to work with those who love their country.”

Wow…just…wow. This company has lied to me, refused to pay me and accused me of stealing. And now I’m unAmerican.

So, you know what happened next…

Dear Sharpie Sniffing, American History Challenged Editor:

I find it amusing that you would dare question my patriotism when you are too ignorant to even know the facts about a country you profess to love so much. You can capitalize democracy as much and as many times as you’d like; it still won’t make the U.S. a democracy. I’m ashamed you call YOURSELF an American, since you put the “Stupid” in the ‘Stupid Americans’ moniker we have around the world.

Do me and other writers with whom you will undoubtedly have this conversation a favor: put down the crayon and pick up a history book. Google it. Go to Wikipedia. Ask your mom. Hell, ask the next person you pass on the street during recess — I don’t care how you find out — but learn some American history. Stop embarrassing yourself. Stop embarrassing me.

Which brings me to this, re: not writing anymore articles for you — let me devolve back to the third grade for a moment. GOOD! I DIDN’T WANT TO WRITE FOR YOUR STINKIN’ COMPANY ANYMORE, ANYWAY, AND I FIRED YOU FIRST!! :PPPPPPPPP

I’m officially done with you. Shred my article, and if I see anything that remotely resembles it on any website for which you provide content, I will come down on you and your company with the sound and fury of God’s thunder. Don’t think I won’t sue you. It’s the DEMOCRATIC way.

Deuces.

Me

Haven’t heard back from them yet. I’ll keep you posted.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

14 thoughts on “It Ain’t Just Semantics, Folks.

  1. Sometimes it is so necessary to vent!

    • I’ve had go arounds with this “company” before. This isn’t my first rant about them — it’s not even my first rant about them this month. But hopefully, it will be the last. Period. Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  2. Barbara says:

    Kim, this is priceless! Classic! Your inner Bitch shut them the hell up – and if they’re even more stupid than they make themselves appear, you will be filing a DMCA against them. Hopefully not!

    • I want to believe this is the end of it. Hopefully, the editor has slinked off to a corner somewhere, or maybe he’s being fitted for his/her dunce cap as we speak.

      But considering the track record of this company, it won’t shock me to find that article somewhere in cyber space later in the year. And if I do find it, trust and believe I’ll file a DMCA on them.

  3. Jenny says:

    So, how old was the guy who sent you that response anyway–like 12? Oh, wait–even MY 12 year old knows that America is a Republic. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he figures out how ignorant he sounded in that rant!

    • That’s the thing about this “company” — they are so clandestine that I don’t know whether it was a male, a female or a badly trained monkey. For the company’s sake, I’m going to hope it was a monkey! 🙂

  4. Ken says:

    Tell us how you really feel…. 🙂 Great stuff Kim!

  5. Wow! Thanks for the chuckle. Keep up the good work!

  6. I’m late commenting on this, but I think my reply would have been a bit different. “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands….”

    • That’s my typical go-to response, Linda (yes, I have encountered this several times before). However, knowing this clients’ inability to comprehend “simple” concepts, I was attempting to shed a bit more light on the subject. I probably would have received the same response either way.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: